Dear Mr. Pleasar,
I may have a small crush on you but i’m not sure. What should I do? Please advise.
Respectfully,
SoCal Rollergirl
SoCal Rollergirl,
The prospect of a secret admirer is rather flattering. If I were one to blush, I imagine I would be doing so right now. That being said, this is actually a very excellent question.
When I start to think about my responses to the inquiries posed here, I make it a point to pull myself back for a moment and attempt to see things from a broader perspective. I’ll be doing the same here by removing myself from the equation and answering your question the way I would had I not been mentioned specifically.
Ahem.
A crush is a very curious thing. I’m of the opinion that there are two types. The first is what’s generally referred to as an “innocent crush”. These are usually held at a distance, admiring from afar with no intention of pursuance—a small indulgence. The crux of this type of crush focuses on the unattainable aspect.
The second type goes beyond the unattainable and relishes in the infatuation aspect of a crush. I believe it to be the more intense of the two varieties. This particular type of crush isn’t satisfied with admiring from a distance and desires romance.
The first thing you should do is ask yourself which of the two types of crush you have. If it’s the first type, that may very well be enough left alone—a delicious revisit to childhood with an accelerating heartbeat, a fancy that will eventually pass. If it’s the second type, why not address it further? Try dropping subtle hints… or even not-so-subtle hints sprinkled with a dash of flirtatiousness.
Sit back and figure out what it is, if anything, you’d like to come out of this crush and then take the appropriate action. The last thing you’ll want is regret as a result of misapplied inaction.
Just my $0.02
Julius Pleasar

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