On Aug 11, 2009, at 11:16 AM, SoCal Rollergirl wrote:

Dear Mr. Pleasar,

I may have a small crush on you but i’m not sure. What should I do? Please advise.

SoCal Rollergirl

SoCal Rol­ler­girl,

The prospect of a secret admirer is rather flat­ter­ing. If I were one to blush, I imag­ine I would be doing so right now. That being said, this is actu­ally a very excel­lent question.

When I start to think about my responses to the inquiries posed here, I make it a point to pull myself back for a moment and attempt to see things from a broader per­spec­tive. I’ll be doing the same here by remov­ing myself from the equa­tion and answer­ing your ques­tion the way I would had I not been men­tioned specifically.


A crush is a very curi­ous thing. I’m of the opin­ion that there are two types. The first is what’s gen­er­ally referred to as an “inno­cent crush”. These are usu­ally held at a dis­tance, admir­ing from afar with no inten­tion of pursuance—a small indul­gence. The crux of this type of crush focuses on the unat­tain­able aspect.

The sec­ond type goes beyond the unat­tain­able and rel­ishes in the infat­u­a­tion aspect of a crush. I believe it to be the more intense of the two vari­eties. This par­tic­u­lar type of crush isn’t sat­is­fied with admir­ing from a dis­tance and desires romance.

The first thing you should do is ask your­self which of the two types of crush you have. If it’s the first type, that may very well be enough left alone—a deli­cious revisit to child­hood with an accel­er­at­ing heart­beat, a fancy that will even­tu­ally pass. If it’s the sec­ond type, why not address it fur­ther? Try drop­ping sub­tle hints… or even not-so-subtle hints sprin­kled with a dash of flirtatiousness.

Sit back and fig­ure out what it is, if any­thing, you’d like to come out of this crush and then take the appro­pri­ate action. The last thing you’ll want is regret as a result of mis­ap­plied inaction.

Just my $0.02
Julius Pleasar

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