I got a problem that I’m hoping you can help me with. You see, I recently formed a co-ed roller derby team. In our very first bout, we played another co-ed team. I think their name was the Blind Butterflies, or something silly like that. Anyway, we completely destroyed them. The score wasn’t even close, and now I feel bad for the other team for getting embarrassed like that. I was thinking that maybe I should apologize for not going easier on them, but that might make them feel even worse. What should I do?
The Cap’n
The Cap’n,
As luck would have it, I, too, recently formed a co-ed roller derby team. It turns out, though, that just before our first bout, the opposing team was short nearly half their roster. Being the nice captain that I am, I graciously let them recruit one of my alternates. Well, wouldn’t you know it, before too long they went on a recruiting spree grabbing any ringer they possibly could, including some formidable skaters who actually did not meet the supposed requirements to be on the teams! Incredible!
Rather than complaining, though, my team went through with the challenge honorably rather than succumbing to the wiles of cheating. By sticking to our guns, we came out the true winners. Ha!
Just my $0.02
Julius Pleasar
P.S.—You are totally going down next year!
P.P.S.—Footage from this rivalry can be seen in three parts:

Elsewhere