On Apr 20, 2009, at 2:21 AM, Crusher wrote:

Ok, So I have this lit­tle crush and don’t know what to do about it. I don’t even know if the crushee has a crush on me, though at times I think he might. Besides, I don’t even know if I am even will­ing, able or ready to date. What, oh wholly one, should I do?

Crusher

Crusher,

This is tricky one. Nor­mally if some­one had walked up to me and asked me this in per­son, I would have posed quite a few follow-up ques­tions in order to get a bet­ter under­stand­ing of the sit­u­a­tion. I will, how­ever, try to answer as best I can with the infor­ma­tion given to me.

My ini­tial reac­tion when I first read this was to tell you to wait it out con­sid­er­ing you said you don’t know if you’re “will­ing, able or ready to date”. That could be seen as a red flag. It wouldn’t be incor­rect, either. It’s not, how­ever, the whole picture.

There are two parts to what you said, the first of which I’ve just mentioned—the unwill­ing­ness or inabil­ity. The sec­ond part to it, though, is the will­ing­ness and open­ness to the idea. If you truly weren’t will­ing or open to the idea, you wouldn’t have even con­sid­ered the notion in the first place let alone writ­ten me an e-mail.

That said, I’m sure there are a num­ber of vari­ables to take into con­sid­er­a­tion. I can say at least that much with some cer­tainty based on you ques­tion­ing your will­ing­ness or abil­ity to date. I’m sens­ing some fear, but I think it’s fear for what some might con­sider the right reasons.

The nice thing about a crush is that it can be very inno­cent. There doesn’t seem to be any rea­son for you not to indulge in it as such. Keep in mind, though, that there’s no need to rush any­thing. You will know when the time is right. In the mean­time, feel free to be giddy when he’s around and enjoy the crush.

Just my $0.02
Julius Pleasar

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