Hail Pleasar

Bored and annoyed,

Early on in life, I found it best to avoid dis­cus­sions of a polit­i­cal nature. It’s a rare occa­sion to be able to hold a civil con­ver­sa­tion regard­ing pol­i­tics, espe­cially if the per­son you’re talk­ing to has a dif­fer­ing opinion.

The com­pli­ca­tion is that these are issues that peo­ple hold dear to their iden­tity. To many it’s the core of their being and any dis­agree­ment attacks their sense of self. Another and sim­i­lar topic would be reli­gion. It’s not as sim­ple as a Coke™ vs Pepsi™ debate. That being said, your ques­tion goes fur­ther than that of the recent top­ics with your in-laws.

The thing about fam­ily is that, save one’s part­ner, you don’t get to choose them. An unfor­tu­nate cir­cum­stance of that is that one might not nec­es­sar­ily get along with their or their partner’s fam­ily. It can be tough. The trick is, though, to avoid what it is that sparks dis­agree­able sit­u­a­tions. Steer the con­ver­sa­tion to more pleas­ant top­ics. Don’t strictly dis­cuss what’s pleas­ing to you, though. That would just per­pet­u­ate the cycle. Even if they per­sist, take the higher road.

The next time you’re vis­it­ing with them, try not to dread the visit before you even get there—you may end up cre­at­ing a self-fulfilling prophecy if you do. Take a breath, observe, and lis­ten. Some­thing may come up, mun­dane as it might pos­si­bly be, that you all agree upon. It could be as sim­ple as a sport or a tele­vi­sion show or what have you. Take the oppor­tu­nity to focus on that and share a com­mon ground. You’ll find that mun­dane pleas­antries are much bet­ter than bit­ter arguments.

Just my $0.02
Julius Pleasar